FIRST-PERSON: Standing for the vulnerable
By Jeff Dalrymple with Kassidy Dalrymple
I will never forget my first conversation with Tom Stolle. I know exactly where I was — driving through West Los Angeles in February 2023. I had to pull over as tears streamed down my face.
At the time, I was serving with the Evangelical Council for Abuse Prevention (ECAP) and speaking with Tom by phone for the first time. We had been introduced by Keith Myer from BCM/D. I knew that Tom and I shared something deeply personal: we both have children with autism. His son, Jimmy, was in his 20s; my daughter, Kassie, was 16.
During that call, Tom shared a statistic from the Pennsylvania Coalition to Advance Respect[1]: individuals with developmental disabilities are sexually assaulted at a rate of 90 percent, and nearly half of those victims experience assault 10 or more times.
Lord, have mercy.
I still have the text messages Tom sent after that conversation:
“I wish more people understood the frequency with which sexual abuse occurs in the intellectually and developmentally disabled population. It’s much, much higher than the rest of the population, which is already too high.”
He continued:
“Sadly, for individuals like my son and so many others, these statistics indicate it’s not a matter of if, but when.”
He also shared another sobering reality:
“1 in 6 children (about 17 percent) have a developmental disability. With approximately 74 million children in the U.S., that means around 12.5 million children are developmentally disabled. There is no strategy that is comprehensive if the safety of these children [children with disability] isn’t accounted for.”
Through my work with ECAP, I had already begun to understand the devastation sexual abuse brings to survivors and their families. Because of their traumatic experiences, survivors often struggle with substance abuse, suicidal ideation and other mental health issues, and, in some cases, become perpetrators of sexual abuse themselves.
Thankfully, Kassie and Jimmy are not survivors of abuse. Still, my heart broke as I realized how vulnerable so many image-bearers of God are and that these precious persons may experience such tragedy in their lifetime.
What are we, the Church, doing to protect and care for them?
What about adults with disabilities? Do they have a voice? Are we listening?
Now, Kassie is 19 and will graduate from high school this month. I am incredibly proud of her and excited for what lies ahead. She is a gift to me, my wife Kristil, and our entire family. There are challenges, certainly, but through them, the Lord is teaching me how to love more deeply: selflessly, unconditionally, sacrificially.
This is agape love — the love the Father has for us. The apostle Paul calls it the greatest of all things (1 Corinthians 13), a truth beautifully reflected in Henry Drummond’s writing on love.
“The test of a man then is not, ‘How have I believed?’ but ‘How have I loved.’”
~Henry Drummond, The Greatest Thing in the World (1 Corinthians 13)
I am still learning what that kind of love truly means. I do not have it all figured out. But I do know this: God’s love for us is overwhelmingly generous, immeasurable, rich in mercy and more vast than I can comprehend. (Ephesians 2:4-5). It is unfailing and infinite, far greater than anything I could offer, even to Kassie.
Recently, Kassie has been thinking about baptism. We are helping her understand the Gospel and what it means to follow Christ. She has even been considering who she would like to baptize her and seems to have chosen Pastor Scott Yirka from our church, Hibernia Baptist.
We have been blessed to be part of churches that are committed to serving individuals with disabilities. They have sought to learn from ministries like Joni & Friends and others dedicated to equipping the Body of Christ to care well for this community.
I cannot imagine raising Kassie without Christ, without my wife Kristil, or without a faithful community of believers walking alongside us. This journey has not been easy, and the future is not without uncertainty. But I am certain of this: Kassie represents a vulnerable population that needs Christ, needs the Church, and needs intentional safeguards for their protection and flourishing.
I want to stand up for these image-bearers, these persons with intellectual and physical disabilities, so they can know Jesus and experience a church community that honors them with the dignity due them in accordance with their inestimable worth.
I cannot imagine life without these remarkable individuals. In truth, we need them just as much, if not more, than they need us. Through them, the Lord continues to shape His people, conforming us to His image. He calls us to care for the vulnerable and to be salt and light in a world desperate for His grace.
Thank You, Lord.
And thank you, Kassie, for the incredible gift that you are.
Will you stand up for the vulnerable? Together, we can help safeguard these vulnerable persons and create safe places for them to grow in Christ.
______________________________________________
A Message from Kassidy Dalrymple:
“Thank you for taking time to learn more about disabilities and keeping people like me safe. I am looking forward to getting baptized and want to see you in Orlando with my dad.”
-I am Kassie and I approve this message.
______________________________________________
Editor’s Note:
Learn more how to be a church that ministers to persons with disabilities. Take a course from Joni & Friends: https://joniandfriends.org/church/
Learn more about the Stand Up Initiative for Vulnerable Adults: https://ecap.net/stand-up/
Don’t miss Tom Stolle’s report this June during the SBC Annual Meeting.