IN THE MARGINS: When you don’t have the words 

By Tony Martin
Editor 

The most eloquent speakers in the world — poets, preachers, politicians — can move a room and still leave half their audience unconvinced. But a crying baby? No vocabulary. No speech. No rehearsed points. And yet, that tiny voice commands a response. Why? Because effective communication doesn’t always depend on the speaker; it depends on the love of the one who listens. 

That’s prayer. 

You and I don’t always know what to say to God. Some days we come with well-formed thoughts and a tidy list. Other days, we show up with little more than a sigh. Good news: God understands sighs. In fact, Scripture says He translates them. 

Romans 8:26 is one of the most comforting verses I know: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (ESV). The Spirit doesn’t coach you from the sidelines, arms folded, waiting for you to get it right. He steps onto the field and carries your prayers across the goal line. 

Jesus joins the chorus, too. A few verses later, Paul says Christ “is at the right hand of God… interceding for us” (Romans 8:34). And before you even attempt words, your Father already knows your needs (Matthew 6:8). Prayer, then, is less about performing and more about trusting the One who hears. 

Maybe you’ve been there lately — sitting in a quiet room, staring at the ceiling, unsure how to even start. Grief won’t form a sentence. Guilt tangles your tongue. Anxiety crowds your thoughts. If that’s you, hear this: God gets it. “Before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether” (Psalm 139:4). He is “near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). You are not a problem to be solved; you are a child to be loved. 

So what do we do when our prayers feel stuck? 

When You Can’t Pray, Try This 

  • Breathe a one-line prayer. “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy.” “Father, help.” “Spirit, guide.” Short prayers make long journeys. 

  • Let Scripture pray for you. Try Psalm 23, Psalm 42, or the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). Read slowly. When a phrase catches your heart, stop and rest there. 

  • Open your hands. Sit in silence with your palms open as a sign of surrender. Tell God, “I receive what You give; I release what I can’t control.” 

  • Name the ache, not the outcome. You don’t have to solve it in prayer. Just say, “Lord, I feel afraid,” or “I miss her,” or “I’m tired of pretending.” 

  • Ask for the next step, not the whole map. “Your word is a lamp to my feet” (Psalm 119:105) — a lamp, not a floodlight. One obedient step is enough for today. 

  • Cast, don’t clutch. “Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). Picture handing Him the backpack you’ve been dragging. 

  • Borrow someone else’s faith. Text a trusted friend, “Would you pray for me? I don’t have words right now.” That humility is itself a prayer. 

  • Keep it honest. God can handle your raw. The psalms are full of holy complaints that end in holy trust. 

One of the great lies is that prayer “works” only when it’s articulate. But the power of prayer isn’t in our phrasing; it’s in God’s presence. Think of that crying baby: what matters isn’t the sophistication of the cry, but the attentiveness of the parent. Your Father is better than any parent — infinitely patient, infinitely present. 

And notice what happens as we come to Him, even in fragments. Philippians 4:6-7 gives us a promise: when we bring our requests “with thanksgiving,” the peace of God — not always the answer we imagined — “will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” God’s peace is like a night watchman, standing guard over the places where fear and confusion like to wander. 

You might say, “But I still don’t feel anything.” Feelings are real, but they aren’t the measurement of God’s nearness. Jesus promised, “I am with you always” (Matthew 28:20). The Spirit intercedes whether you sense it or not. Trust isn’t the denial of emotion; it’s the decision to lean on God in the middle of it. 

If you need a picture for today, try this: imagine placing your situation — relationship, diagnosis, decision, debt — into Jesus’ hands. Not symbolically but concretely. See Him receiving it without flinching. Hear Him saying, “I’ve got you. I’ll carry what you can’t.” Then, just breathe. That’s prayer, too. 

A Simple Call to Action for This Week 

  1. Set a 3-minute timer once a day. Sit quietly, open your hands, and pray a one-line prayer. Let the Spirit fill in the rest. 

  1. Pray one psalm out loud — Psalm 23 or Psalm 121 — and pause on any phrase that meets your need. 

  1. Tell one person you trust, “I’m leaning on God for ____ this week. Will you pray with me?” Let someone stand watch with you. 

If a baby’s cry can move a parent to action, how much more will your Father respond to His beloved child? You don’t have to be eloquent today. You just have to be His. He’ll do the translating; He’ll do the carrying. And when words finally come back, you’ll discover He’s been holding you the whole time. 

Lord, thank You for hearing me when I hardly know what to say. Spirit, intercede for me with groans too deep for words. Jesus, keep watch over my heart and mind. Amen.