By Tony Martin
Editor
Let’s be real. Life can feel like a bit much sometimes. Between bills, bad news, relationship tension, traffic that seems personally out to get us, and the occasional “why is my left eye twitching?” moment… it’s no wonder our nervous systems throw up their hands and say, “I’m out!”
If you’ve ever found yourself snapping at someone over spilled coffee or fantasizing about selling everything and opening a taco stand in Belize, congrats — you’re human. But what we sometimes don’t realize is that we’re not just stressed. We’re stuck.
Let’s talk about that.
The Body Keeps the Score… But So Does the Soul
Scientists tell us that our nervous systems are wired to survive. And that’s great when you’re being chased by a bear. Less helpful when you’re trying to have a tough conversation with your teenager or sit through a church committee meeting without flipping the table.
Enter the five “Fs” of survival mode:
Fight — You get angry. Everything feels like a personal attack. You’re ready to argue with a potted plant.
Flight — You start planning your escape. “I could just move. Start over. Grow blueberries in Montana.”
Freeze — You shut down. Can’t make decisions. Can’t answer emails. Can’t even decide what to eat.
Fawn — You start appeasing. Over-apologizing. Trying to make everyone else happy, even if you disappear in the process.
Flop — You give up. Sink into the couch. Feel like nothing will ever change. Cue the sad movie montage.
Here’s the thing: These responses aren’t sinful. They’re automatic. They’re how God wired our bodies to protect us in moments of real danger. But they’re also not meant to be permanent addresses. Survival mode is for moments — not months.
And as believers, we’ve been offered something better than constant reactivity. We’ve been invited into shalom — that beautiful Hebrew word that means peace, wholeness, restoration, and calm. That sounds a lot better than yelling at the dog because you can’t find your charger.
The Problem with Staying Stuck
When we live in a chronic state of Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, or Flop, we’re not operating from a place of purpose. We’re operating from panic. We make fear-based decisions. We react instead of respond. We forget who we are and whose we are.
Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” You can’t renew your mind when your brain is too busy sounding the internal fire alarm.
And listen, there is no shame in realizing you’ve been living in survival mode. It’s a sign that you’ve been through something hard. It means your system is working — but maybe it’s working overtime, and it needs a Sabbath.
So, what do we do about it?
Step One: Recognize the Signs
Self-awareness is half the battle. If you catch yourself in one of the 5 Fs, name it.
“Oh hey, I’m in Fight mode — no wonder I’m irrationally mad at my printer.”
Or, “This Flop feeling? That’s not laziness. That’s my body begging for a reset.”
When you name it, you take away some of its power. You shift from being in it to looking at it. And that’s where change begins.
Step Two: Return to Center
When you find yourself stuck, ask: What helps bring me back to grounded, godly action?
For some folks, it’s deep breathing and prayer. For others, it’s stepping outside and letting their bare feet touch the ground (there’s actually science behind that!). Sometimes it’s journaling. Sometimes it’s a walk. Sometimes it’s a power nap — and yes, Jesus took naps. Be like Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Peace guards us. It doesn’t ignore reality. It just lets us face reality with a steady hand instead of flailing arms.
Step Three: Choose Organization Over Overwhelm
Once you’re calmer, ask God: What’s one small step I can take today?
You don’t have to fix your whole life in one afternoon. You just need to do the next right thing.
Sometimes that’s texting a friend. Sometimes it’s folding a load of laundry. Sometimes it’s opening your Bible and reminding your spirit that God is still in control — even when your to-do list is out of control.
Remember what 2 Timothy 1:7 says: “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
That spirit’s still in you. Even when your system is fried.
Grace for the Journey
Healing isn’t linear. You won’t master this in a week. And that’s okay. You are allowed to be a work in progress with a God who never stops working on you.
So the next time your nervous system wants to scream or hide or roll over in defeat, pause. Breathe. Pray. And know you’re not broken — you’re just being invited to come home to peace.
And maybe take a walk. Hydrate. Turn off the news. Call someone who won’t try to fix you but will just sit with you.
Your soul isn’t a machine. It’s a garden. Treat it like one. Water it. Prune it. Let the sun in.
God’s got you — even on the days you’re holding on by a thread.
Comments are closed.