By Tony Martin
Associate Editor
I’d like to talk about a place most of us have been, some of us more than once. It’s a messy place filled with confusion, hurt, anger, and regret — but also hope and growth. It’s the rocky terrain of broken relationships.
This journey is not just about the heartache, but also about the redemption that comes after forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing. From our Christian faith we know that with God, all things are possible.
Broken relationships are an unfortunate but real part of life. They can leave you feeling lost, shattered, and questioning your own self-worth. As we navigate through these feelings, it’s essential to remember that hope is never entirely lost even in the darkest times.
It’s never too late to start the process of healing and restoration. That’s where your journey begins.
Reality of brokenness, hope in Christ
Relationships, like anything in this world, can fracture due to a variety of reasons: misunderstandings, betrayals, unmet expectations, or simply drifting apart. In these moments of heartache, it’s crucial to remember the message of Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
No matter how grim or hopeless a situation may seem, God’s love and grace are always at work. Even in the valleys of despair He is molding you, teaching you, and preparing you for better days.
Each situation is unique, but a common theme is the lack of communication and understanding. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? The conversations that never happened, the words left unsaid, the feelings left unexpressed. They all contribute to the breaking point.
Bummer.
Path to Forgiveness
It’s time to pick up the first piece: Forgiveness. Now, this is a big one. I can almost hear you saying, “Easier said than done!” And you’re right. Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or condoning the hurt caused. It’s about freeing yourself from the hold that the past has on you.
It’s about choosing to not let past hurts dictate your present or future. It’s not an event; it’s a process, but let’s remember that as followers of Christ, forgiveness is not optional. It’s a calling.
Matthew 18:21-22says, Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Forgiveness does not erase the pain or condone the wrong, but it does break the chains of bitterness and resentment. It frees us from the prison of past hurts and allows you to move forward.
Read that last paragraph again.
Bridge to Restored Relationships
Reconciliation is not always possible or even the best route in every situation. I’m mindful of what was once a great relationship I had with someone which just doesn’t seem to be salvageable. Man, that hurts but when reconciliation is possible, it’s like the bridge connecting two lands that were torn apart.
Remember, reconciliation isn’t about sweeping things under the rug. It’s about bringing issues to the surface, addressing them, and resolving them together. It’s about rebuilding trust, mending communication, and renewing the connection.
It’s about acknowledging the past without being anchored to it. It’s a brave choice that requires a lot of courage, understanding, and patience.
Reconciliation, when possible and appropriate, is a beautiful testament to God’s transformative power in our relationships. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 teaches us, All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them.
Reconciliation isn’t about ignoring past hurts, but rather about confronting them with grace, love, and humility. It requires honest communication, genuine repentance, and the rebuilding of trust.
Healing: Growth from the Ashes
Finally, we come to healing — the green shoots of hope sprouting from the ashes of a broken relationship. Healing, like forgiveness, is a process and not a destination. It’s the new dawn following the darkest of nights. Psalms 147:3 tells us, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Healing may mean moving forward from a relationship that was beyond repair, or it may mean building a stronger, more understanding bond out of the fragments of a broken relationship. Either way, healing involves self-love, acceptance, and growth.
A key part of healing is recognizing the growth that comes from pain. Remember, you’re not the same person who started this journey. You’ve grown, you’ve learned, and you’ve become stronger.
James 1:2-4 encourages us, Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Promise of Hope
Relationships can break and that can be devastating, but within the devastation lies the seed of hope. Hope for forgiveness, for reconciliation, and for healing. It’s not an easy journey, but it is one worth taking. It’s a journey of self-discovery, growth, and ultimately of love.
In your journey, know you are not alone. You are surrounded by a community that supports you and walks with you and above all, you are cherished by a God who turns your trials into triumphs.
So, pilgrim, even in the midst of the storm of a broken relationship, remember there is always the promise of hope. With hope, you can find the strength to move forward. This process, albeit challenging, brings you closer to God, allows you to grow in His grace, and reminds you of the unfailing love and mercy of our Creator.
Stay blessed, and keep hope alive!
Opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the Mississippi Baptist Convention Board, The Baptist Record, nor the publication’s Advisory Committee. The author may be contacted attmartin@mbcb.org.
