By Lindsey Carraway
Writing Specialist
As Proverbs 18:22 so wisely reads, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” Amid church conflict, demands, and expectations, however, “a good thing” may be the last words a pastor’s wife would use to describe herself.
In the loneliness of ministry and the pressures to plaster on a smile from the parsonage to the pew, the pastor’s wife may be silently fighting an invasion of intrusive insecurities. She clings to the promise of the Lord’s “favor,” but in the face of criticism and people-pleasing pursuits, she feels her faults are more prevalent than any favor she finds.
Meeting Oct. 26 during the 2026 Pastor’s Conference, a day prior to the annual Mississippi Baptist Convention, the wives of pastors and ministers gathered for the Ministry Wives Conference. At the gathering, they found a safe space to speak those fears aloud, find fellowship with likeminded women, and be replenished with the life-giving Word of God.
Tara Dew, director of Thrive — a ministry wives’ certificate program at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (NOBTS) — was invited as guest speaker. The wife of NOBTS president, Jamie Dew, and the mother of two sets of twins, she shared how her own experiences serving as a former pastor’s wife and working side-by-side with her husband, her passion for other ministry wives, and her role as cheerleader for her family, made her an excellent encourager to the women who so often empty themselves into the life of their family and their church.
Dew spoke about the themes and topics in her latest book, “Overflowing Peace,” weaving in personal stories of her faith and ministry which enraptured the audience as if she were speaking to each woman like a friend over coffee.
“I love being a ministry wife,” said Dew. “We get a front row seat to what God is doing in people’s lives. We get to see marriages restored. We get to see wayward children come home. We get to see infertile women bear children. We get to see God take a life addicted to drugs and alcohol and save them for the Kingdom of God.”
When Dew began the journey of her doctoral research, she knew she wanted to write her dissertation on pastor’s wives. She wondered how many shared similar insecurities from the burden of expectations they were not trained for, like herself. Even a well-meaning and loving church may assume the pastor’s wife will come with a surplus of talents and time on her hands to devote to the congregation as much as her family.
In 2018, Dew surveyed 711 pastor’s wives from across the United States, in every size church. “What I found is that pastor’s wives are busy,” Dew emphasized to the audience. “Pastor’s wives had up to 27 jobs in their churches. Many of you were involved in multiple areas like worship ministry, children’s ministry, youth ministry, women’s ministry, bereavement, and hospitality. I love where one said she did everything from cleaning the toilets to answering the phones.
“Less than 9% of ministry wives have ever even had one class to train them for what they were doing. When I graduated, I sent my research to the six Southern Baptist seminaries and said, ‘We’re doing a really good job training half of the ministry team, but there is a whole other half of the ministry team that’s doing a lot of work and they’ve had no training for it. They have no networking. They have had no equipping.’”
Six months later, God led the Dews to NOBTS. “When we got there,” said Dew, “I found out that there was a scholarship that enabled me to build Thrive, which is totally based on the research and is meant to train you, the other half of the ministry team, who are doing so much in your churches.”
Thrive covers topics as vital as studying the Bible, understanding the grand narrative of Scripture, sharing your testimony, discipling women, caring for your own soul as you pour out to others, and developing healthy habits within marriage and family.
Psalm 23
Dew’s book, “Overflowing Peace,” dives deeper into a passage many ministry wives have already committed to memory: Psalm 23. Her topics in the conference covered the historical context of David’s childhood as a shepherd boy, the practical responsibilities of caring for helpless sheep, and Dew’s personal anecdotes, all from her book which details the peaceful love of our God through six, overflowing verses.
“Psalm 23 is a passage often read at funerals,” said Dew, “and I love that, but Psalm 23 is not a psalm for the dead. Psalm 23 is a psalm for the living.”
The key points Dew described concluded that “a life of overflowing peace” comes from:
- Knowing your Shepherd,
- Trusting in His provisions for you,
- Being renewed and restored by His love,
- Following Him down new paths and through dark valleys,
- Receiving His comfort, and
- Experiencing His presence.
Yahweh, the almighty Creator of heaven and earth, likens Himself to one of the lowliest occupations: the only farmer who lives among his animals. Our God is both the omnipotent King of Kings and the Good Shepherd, Who personally leads us, His sheep.
Concluding the conference, John Pace, director of the Mississippi Baptist Convention Board (MBCB) Leadership Department, hosted a Q&A with Dew. Attendees asked for advice on multiple topics, including where to go for guidance and encouragement.
“I learned early on that God is the greatest listener,” Dew affirmed. “When you bring it to Him, He can handle it and you can be real before Him.”
In supplement to that, Dew suggested befriending a fellow pastor’s wife to call for prayer needs. “What’s so beautiful about this, is that these women in this room, they understand. They are in situations just like you… Having a sister, a fellow pastor’s wife, really makes a difference.”
Ministry wives walked away with sincere smiles, newfound friendships, and gifts from the Pastor’s Conference and the MBCB, including a signed copy of “Overflowing Peace.”
For more information on Thrive and other women’s ministry opportunities offered at NOBTS, visit https://prepareher.com/.
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