By Megan Young
Associate Editor
Balancing ministry and family was the main topic of discussion at the Ministry Wives Conference, held Oct. 27 at Broadmoor Church in Madison.
Melanie Benson, featured speaker and wife of Byron Benson, pastor of East End Church in Columbus, acknowledged the pressure ministry wives face as they navigate the intense scrutiny of their families alongside the high expectations of their service to the church.
“Two perilous pitfalls that we often have in that tension in ministry is one, sacrificing family on the altar of ministry or two, idolizing family to the neglect of ministry. How do we balance those?” asked Benson, a Licensed Professional Counselor.
The two extremes — sacrificing the family or idolizing the family — share a common error: prioritizing one while neglecting the other.
“It’s important for us to speak wisdom into our households and know that ministry and family are not designed to take from one another, but rather enhance one another,” said Benson.
Focusing on Psalm 127:1, Benson said the only way to balance ministry and family is to let the Lord build your house. Unless he is the builder of your house — or family — the work is done in vain. Using the analogy of construction, she encouraged ministry wives to keep their focus on the contractor, the cornerstone, the capacity, the cost and the commission.
Above all, God must be the contractor of your house, Benson said. He is the builder; we are his building, and his Word is our blueprint, instructing us on how to have a right relationship with him.
“When we strive to please him, what that does is it frees us from trying to gain approval from others,” said Benson. “And so it frees us to do ministry with our identity and sole purpose to be rooted and grounded in Christ and our service is an overflow of a relationship with him.”
Our relationship with Christ must be the cornerstone in order to have a firm foundation on which to build, she said. Only when lives are aligned with him can believers truly build a solid house.
“So we want to ask ourselves, when we look at our lives, are they Christ-centered? They don’t need to be kid-centered. They don’t need to be other-people’s-opinion-centered, fame or money-centered, tradition-centered. They need to be Christ-centered.”
A Christ-centered life, Benson noted, leads to confidence in the structural durability and load-bearing capacity of the home. When stressors come, believers do not have to fear collapse because Christ bears the load.
“Human strength and wisdom are insufficient resources to build our families on and serve as ministry spouses. We cannot, cannot, cannot do it on our own steam,” said Benson.
Relying on personal strength can lead to burnout and cause ministry families to question their calling, she said. Instead, believers must recognize there is a cost to building a solid house, and that cost is a life of committed discipleship. Only by counting the cost of being fully committed followers of Christ can they build a house that will last.
“We lay our plans aside when God calls us. Sacrificially constructed, there’s no cheap way, easy way, or lazy way. And it must be steadfastly completed.”
Once houses are built on his firm foundation, Benson said, God commissions believers to do his kingdom work.
Ultimately, Benson concluded, “we want to build Kingdom families made of Kingdom marriages, Kingdom kids, and partner together in a great coalition working together to share the great commission.”
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