By Lindsey Williams
Writing Specialist
“I love the church, but in many instances the church has acquiesced to the expectation that fathers are not making disciples in their home.”
This sobering reality was highlighted by Josh Kubler, the Associate Pastor at Redeemer Church in Olive Branch during his session “Equipping Fathers to Disciple Their Families” at the Mississippi Baptist Convention Board’s 2025 Equipping Leaders conference held at Brandon Church, Brandon, Aug. 22-23.
“We have built bigger and fancier youth ministries and children’s ministries in the hopes that we will draw more parents instead of training them up to do what they need to do and what they have been called to do,” continued Kubler, who also serves as Director of Church Engagement for Manhood Journey, an organization whose aim is to equip fathers as disciple-makers in their homes.
Over 6,000 self-identified Christian fathers filled out a survey with Manhood Journey. Kubler shared the report based on those responses:
- 78% admitted to not regularly or intentionally discussing the Bible with their children.
- 83% confessed to not praying with their families outside of mealtimes or bedtimes.
- 42% only occasionally read the Word of God.
“We have seen so many statistics about how youth are graduating and leaving the church, and how very few come back,” said Kubler. “All kinds of reasons have been given for this. I believe those reasons have validity, but I think we are missing a major reason that Psalm 78 tells us:
‘(The Lord) established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments; and that they should not be like their faithers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.’
“Fathers are not pouring the truth of the Gospel into their children,” said Kubler.
Kubler shared that he was not raised in a Christian home and came to faith at 18 years old. Godly men from his rural church poured into him and made an immense difference in his life. Now Kubler has been married for 16 years with five children. One daughter joined him at the weekend conference. Kubler encouraged the fathers to bring their kids into discipleship settings whenever possible.
Outsourcing Responsibility
Authors Christian Smith and Amy Adamczyk compiled biblical research in their book, “Handing Down the Faith: How Parents Pass Their Religion on to the Next Generation,” which shows that:
- Parents are primarily responsible for passing down faith and practice.
- The church is always secondary to parental discipling and plays a supportive role.
- Faithful parents raise faithful children.
- The most important thing a parent can do is talk about faith in the home.
“Fathers have outsourced their spiritual responsibility to the church, to youth group, to children’s ministry, and to summer camp,” said Kubler. “All those things are good and needed, but they are supplements, not the primary means, by which we bring our children to faith.
“In seminary, I was taught the most effective evangelistic method is church planting. But what we found over time and what we have discovered by looking at the data and the Scriptures, the answer is not just church planting. The answer to the most effective form of evangelism is faithful parenting. Not just parents who claim to be Christian because of cultural regularity. Not just parents who occasionally attend church. But those who are committed to the faith they proclaim, regularly attend and serve in church, discuss the Bible in their home, and pray regularly.
“My children can attest that I am far from the perfect father. But when you faithfully pour into your children, there is a higher likelihood that they will follow Jesus over anything else.”
According to the latest Barna research, 59% of people – nearly six out of 10 people – who identify as Christ followers say their faith was passed down to them from a family member. In the same study, over 68% said that their mother had significant influence on their faith while only 46% cited their father.
Identifying Barriers
Kubler listed four common reasons why fathers struggle to disciple their families faithfully:
- Lack of Time – “Many men feel too busy for intentional discipleship. We live in a day and age where it has never been more challenging to provide for your family. Not only that, there are more opportunities to entertain ourselves and fill our hours. It is easy to consume ourselves with the things on our schedule and convince ourselves it is a good thing while ignoring the most important thing. If men give their children everything they ever want and need, but fail to give them Jesus, they have failed as fathers.”
- Lack of Confidence – “Most men are unsure how to lead spiritually. A lot of our men think this means making sure their kids get to church and youth group and paying the cost for them to attend a private Christian school. Many make sure these things are happening because they are not confident in their own ability to disciple their kids. We have to help dads in our congregations realize and embrace the fact that they do not have to have a seminary degree to disciple their families. They don’t have to be perfect or have all the right answers, they just need to strive to be faithful.”
- Lack of Faithful Examples to Follow – “Right after I was saved at 18, I got involved in First Baptist Church of Coldwater, Mississippi – your typical rural church. There was a gentleman there named Mr. Paul who worked in construction and had a family. He modeled for me what it meant to be a normal guy who loves Jesus and leads his family well. Most men in our churches have never seen this done faithfully.”
- Lack of Motivation in Church Culture – “We unintentionally allow programs to replace parental discipleship. It’s possible that in many of our churches, our ministries have evolved to minimize parental responsibility in order to secure commitment. Programs can never replace the faithful, spiritual investment of a mother and father in their children. We need to make sure those opportunities and programs exist as a means by which we equip and come alongside parents in the task of discipling their children.”
Breaking Barriers
Kubler cited practical steps churches can take to equip fathers:
- Appoint older, faithful fathers to be intentional disciple-makers: “Fathers need examples they can imitate. In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul tells the church to be imitators of him as he is of Christ. We all need disciple-makers to show us what it means to be a faithful Christian in the world today. Fathers need older men who have demonstrated faithfulness and can intentionally share their testimonies, failures, and victories as they walk beside other men.”
- Offer Training: “Give dads in your congregation simple, repeatable tools. Provide them with resources like discussion guides, short devotionals, catechisms, and conversation-starters specific to fatherhood which will help them focus on the “Big Three” of parental discipleship: the Word, prayer, and church. Dads, talk to your kids five-10 minutes at the table or in the car, open the Word and read a few verses, or read through a storybook Bible. Teach them to pray and invite them to pray not just at meals and bedtimes, but when the need arises. Let your children hear you pray. With church, kids are going to value what their parents value. Help them to see that it’s not just about attending church but being the church.”
- Encourage, not just model: “Provide examples and training, but also create a culture of cheering on dads. Hebrews 10:24-25 reads, ‘Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another all the more as you see the Day drawing near.’ The current cultural climate is against men. Some things have brought that on us, one being that behavior called ‘toxic masculinity’ which is wrong and sinful, but there has been a pendulum swing all the way into the other direction that is harmful and hurtful to all men. Men shouldn’t show up to church on Father’s Day and get beat over the head with the Bible. If that’s the only Sunday they show up, don’t be surprised when they don’t come back. Men are inundated in our culture with how much they’re failing. Based on statistics, we undoubtedly need men to step up. But we’re not going to help them rise by further beating them down.”
Fathers On Purpose
“There is not a man in your church who is a father by accident,” Kubler emphasized. “He is a father on purpose. God has placed him as the head of that family for a reason. He has given him those specific children for a reason. He has chosen your church for them to be a part of for a reason. Encourage fathers to fulfill their calling.
“Affirm fathers. Celebrate wins, big and small. Pray over them regularly. As often as you are praying for missionaries, what if you prayed as often for fathers in your church? Fathers have the greatest opportunity to share the Gospel and see life-changing results and a wellspring from their homes that will impact not only that house, but that church, that community, and generations to come.”
For more information and resources, visit https://manhoodjourney.org/ and https://manhoodjourney.org/raising-disciples-the-role-of-fathers-in-spiritual-growth/.
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